Endurance... Good or Bad?

As she sat there, trying to control her breathing, so that her body could relax, she let her mind wonder dangerously close to things she knew she should rather not think of.

Having always lived by strong mottos about determination and perseverance like "True love endures..." and "Love never fails" she found it difficult to accept the fact that some things need to fail so that other, better, things could happen...

Her life to this point had been full of dreams of change and plans for the future, and although she knew that one cannot plan so far ahead she found herself at a cross roads which she had never even dreamt of. She had very difficult choices to make and had to tread carefully just incase her future involved the decisions she was about to make...

Finally after wounding herself with all the things she was not able to face just yet she let out a river of tears from her eyes and sang along to the songs that played in her head... she cried and prayed and tried to convince herself it was still a while before she needed to take action... but in her heart she knew that that day was closer than she could ever pretend...

To Contemplate... Or not?

What are we supposed to do when it’s just right?

If it feels right and makes you feel good are we meant to assume that it’s too good to be true or should we savour that feeling knowing that it’s meant to feel that way?

What are we supposed to do when it’s wrong, and you know it? How do you stop it from happening again? What do you do when you realise there is nothing you can do. How do you handle it?

It’s all set… right? I want to go there. I want to do that. But what about what I’m leaving behind? What about the things that I’m neglecting in making these new choices? Will I regret having left this life for the next one?

What about those who influence us and the choices we make? Can we just leave them behind? They are a part of us, what is the point of carrying on without them? Or were they always only meant to be stepping stones?

Well, there are many things in life that will never really be defined, but in the mean time here are some things to consider...

Cry… cry… cry… watch a movie that makes you cry, read books and letters that make you feel sad and lonely… Cry about being sad and lonely. Do something, anything that comes to mind while you’re crying. Be it cleaning your room or dying your hair. Do it. You need it, that’s why you were crying – you needed it.

Fall in love, fall out of love. Make out, fight. Go out, Stay in. Read, listen. Sleep, bath. Cook, eat, clean up. Light candles and sit in the light while thinking. Relax. Bake a cake, or cookies. Put them in a basket, decorate the basket. Leave it in the living room. Every time you see your happiness basket and smile, eat a cookie.

Take my advice, or don’t. Make up your own advice, or not. Think about your favourite colour, number and word. Make a rhyme about it. Repeat it to yourself a few times, and then try to forget about it. Sing your favourite song, or just the most recent one you can remember. Dance to the sounds in your head. Laugh at yourself when you see yourself in the mirror, dancing.

Laugh when you remember someone you love. Cry when you miss them because you remembered them. Think about those not near you, write to them, or speak to them as if they were right there with you.

Take a warm, relaxing bath by candle light. Dress warmly and lie in front of your fireplace, if you don’t have one, lie on your bed with a few candles and just imagine a warm glowing fire.

Whatever you do... be you...

Think of me as I think of you now...